Stars In His Eyes
by The Disposable Villain
Summary: Ryou was an idiot. An idiot to think Kek would help with him with his short programme, or stay in Domino, or help save his skating career when the truth about Amane Bakura got out. But that's exactly what Kek seemed to be set on doing. Skating AU. {Deathshipping, Visionshipping, Rescueshipping, Thiefshipping, Puzzleshipping}. Trans and non-binary characters.
1. Chapter 1

**DV: Hey, guys. So this is a Yu-Gi-Oh! story inspired by the new ice-skating show, Yuri! on Ice. You don't need to have watched it to understand this, but you should watch it because it's great. Anyway, it's not a long chapter, but I hope you like it. Yami Marik will be referred to either Kek or Mehi, whichever they prefer. If they go by Kek, they prefer male pronouns or are more comfortable being perceived as male. If they go by Mehi, they prefer female pronouns or are more comfortable being perceived as female. If their name changes in the middle of a scene, their pronouns have changed.**

* * *

The line to the 'Host Club' was way longer than Kek had expected it to be. His eyes flicked up from his phone to view it.

Half an hour, and he was only just nearing the top of the queue. He would have left twenty minutes ago, but he had been getting closer to the top of the queue, and he didn't want to leave and come back to find the line even longer.

He huffed and looked down at the screen again. _Pokémon Go_ wasn't exactly entertaining when you couldn't move, even with an incense on. There was a Vulpix somewhere nearby and he couldn't chase it down because there were only two people in front of him.

He closed the app. He wasn't going to just stare at it. It wouldn't do anything but piss him off.

"Fuck's sake," someone muttered behind him. He turned to see a kid about his age – maybe a year younger – in a _Voltron_ cosplay. Pidge. The kid glanced up from their phone and met Kek's gaze. "Sorry. Vulpix disappeared."

"No worries." Kek gave them a grin. "It was bugging me too." He offered his hand. "I'm Kek."

The kid hesitated before taking his hand and shaking it. "Ryou. What pronouns do you use?"

Kek considered the question for a moment. "He and him. You?"

"Same." Ryou nodded and glanced forward. "This line's never going to end."

Kek shifted to the side. "You can share a table with me if you want." Ryou hesitated. "If you don't want to, don't worry about it. But it'll probably take a while for another table to free up."

"Good point." Ryou stepped up next to Kek. "I like your _Haikyuu!_ cosplay."

Kek grinned. "Thanks. So far, I've been getting a mix of 'oh my gods, coloured Sugawara, can I take your picture, please please please', and 'for fuck sake, try to be accurate when cosplaying'."

Ryou rolled his eyes. "Pricks."

"Yeah. Most of them were cosplaying Trump, or blackfacing." Kek shook his head. "I just flipped them off."

"Good idea." Ryou grinned and pocketed his phone. "I've mainly been getting comments about my eye colour, but I'm allergic to contacts."

"Fair enough. Your cosplay's pretty on point anyway." Kek shrugged.

"Thanks." Ryou grinned at him.

A person dressed as Kyoya finally approached them. "We have a free table if you'd like."

"Yes!" Kek grinned and they followed them to the table. "I've been waiting for like half an hour."

"Same," Ryou sighed. "I came with a few friends, but we got split up, and I haven't found them again, so I came here to sit down."

Kek nodded. "More _Voltron_ cosplayers?"

Ryou stuck out his tongue. "Nah, they're _Homestuck_ trash so they all came as trolls."

Kek snorted. "Maybe they went to the _Homestuck_ panel? I saw a good few trolls there."

"Possibly." Ryou nodded in agreement and poured himself a glass of water. "They'll probably come in here to find me anyway."

"Why? You a Host Club fan?"

Ryou shook his head. "I'm a food fan. This is the only good place for food in the entire convention."

Kek shook his head, grinning. "Naturally." He pulled out a packet of Duel Monster cards. "Do you play?"

Ryou's eyes lit up and he nodded. "Yeah. I don't have my deck with me though. It's occult themed."

Kek stuck out his tongue. "Mine's a power deck. Fuck effects; if they have cards that stop effects, your monsters are useless. Spell and traps are okay though."

"But what if they have a card that makes it impossible to summon anything over fifteen hundred life points?" Ryou shot back. "That happened to me in a tournament last month."

"You do tournaments?"

"Just some local ones. I generally don't win anything."

"Still." Kek poured himself some water. "Impressive."

Ryou smiled. "Thanks." He leaned a bit closer. "What kind of deck did you just get?"

"Just some booster cards." Kek showed him the two thin packets. "Hopefully they're not shit."

Ryou smirked. "Open them and check. If there are any effect monsters you don't want, I'll take them."

Kek nodded in agreement and opened the deck. The intercom crackled, halting the steadily changing theme songs and generic pop floating around the building.

 _"_ _Can Amane Bakura please come to the information desk on the first floor; that's Amane Bakura."_

Kek saw Ryou stiffen and the other downed the end of his water. "I-I should go."

Kek glanced at him. "I assume your friends went down there?"

"Probably." Ryou wouldn't meet his gaze.

Kek gave him a smile. "Maybe I'll see you later, Ryou Bakura."

Ryou blinked, his gaze flickering up to meet Kek's again. "Yeah. I'd like that."

Kek offered his hand. "See you later, Ryou."

Ryou took it and shook it again. "Bye." He left the Host Club, after dropping fifty yen on the table for the water, even though the jug was complimentary.

Kek waited there for the rest of the day, but Ryou didn't return to the café.

* * *

"Ryou, you can do this. You know you can." Pegasus placed his hands on Ryou's shoulders. "You've been training for this for years."

Ryou nodded. He could barely hear him. He was the only one this year – the only one who hadn't participated in the Grand Prix Final before.

"I can do this," he mumbled.

"You can. Now go."

Ryou nodded. He paused to let another of the competitors off the ice before stepping on himself.

 _"_ _Next up is Ryou Bakura; a first timer in the Grand Prix Finals! His theme for this season is Dreams."_ He skated to a stop in the middle. _"Since his sister Amane Bakura's death three years ago, Ryou has gone from an unknown to one of Japan's top figure skaters."_ Ryou's breath caught in his throat. _"He will be skating to_ Nightvision _by_ Daft Punk. _"_

Breathe. Breathe. They didn't know. They didn't know. It was just a comment. Just an off-hand comment for skaters to know more about him.

The music started.

A choreographed step sequence to start. Slow. Slightly off-beat. It was still two points, but he had to get into it.

 _"_ _He has five jumps planned in this routine, three of which are quads, and a combo. Here comes his first jump now; a triple axel."_

Come on. Focus. Jump in front of the sign. He jumped.

 _"_ _He two-footed the landing, but he got enough rotations in."_

Eight point five points with a one point bonus. Not good enough.

He took a shaky breath. He couldn't crash. This routine was fine. Dreams. Focus on the theme. Steps.

A choreo sequence, followed by four-step sequence. Two, and three point nine. He almost let his foot slip out from under him.

Focus. He had to get a good presentation score. Triple Lutz.

 _"_ _Here comes the next of his jumps; a triple Lutz. This is Bakura's signature move."_

He jumped.

 _"_ _Oh, he touched down, and missed a rotation."_

Six points, minus three points. Damn. He hadn't missed that jump at all that season.

Come on. He could do this. A flying camel spin. He was into the second half of the song now. He could finish it. Finish big. Win back the points.

 _"_ _Looks like he's getting back into the rhythm of it; a perfect flying camel spin!"_

Good. Follow it up with another four-step sequence, that was three point two, and three point nine.

He took a breath.

 _"_ _Here comes his combination jump; a quadruple axel, double toe loop, and a triple toe loop."_

He had to do more. He had to win points.

 _"_ _Oh, he fell on the axel, but- and he turned the triple toe loop into a quadruple!"_

It was the second half, so there was a one point one multiplier. Thirty-one point six eight, minus two.

Quadruple Lutz, followed by a sequence. Almost there.

 _"_ _He nailed the Lutz, but he tripped on the sequence; Bakura's not doing well today, folks."_

Eleven point nine seven minus one. Fuck. It wasn't good enough.

 _"_ _He seems to have forgotten all about his backward step sequence-"_

Shit! He quickly moved into it, but his free leg was sloppy, and he was late. One point five, minus one.

 _"_ _Here comes his last jump; a quadruple axel."_

Flying sit spin. Signature move. Followed by a quadruple axel. He had to make it.

Three, and sixteen point five.

 _"_ _The flying sit spin was good, but the quad turned into a triple axel."_

Minus three.

He didn't gather enough speed for the axel. He slowly twisted to a halt, hands behind his back, on one knee, staring up at the ceiling. He panted for breath, hair falling around his face.

That was the toughest skate that season.

Slowly, he stood and made his way to the 'kiss-and-cry'. An accurate name.

Pegasus was waiting for him, wearing a plastic smile. "You did your best."

But it wasn't good enough. Ryou barely noticed as Kek stepped onto the ice past him.

 _"_ _Next up is Kek- sorry, folks-_ Mehi _Kosey today, dancing to an original piece, choreographed by his coach, Ishizu Ishtar."_

Ryou glanced at the ice as he sat down on the bench. It would take a minute or two for the results to come in.

Mehi's routine started out slowly, but she managed to pull a triple axel, double toe loop combination off while staying in time.

Ryou's hand clenched by his side. He was an idiot. He was an idiot to think he could have won – to stand on the podium with Mehi as an equal.

 _"_ _And Ryou Bakura's results are in. Eighty-three point fifteen. His lowest score this season. Bakura is currently in fifth place."_

"You did your best," Pegasus murmured, wrapping an arm around Ryou's shoulders.

Ryou pulled away – not enough to cause a scene on television, but enough to let Pegasus know that he didn't want to be touched.

He looked up in time to see Mehi land her signature move – a quadruple axel followed by a quadruple toe loop. Perfect.

He was such an idiot.

* * *

Ryou let out a shaky breath as he walked into the bathroom. The boys' bathroom. He wasn't a visitor. He wasn't in the wrong place. He just had to keep reminding himself of that.

He checked the stalls. He didn't want to change in the changing rooms. Not just yet. Maybe next year. If there even was a next year. Nineteen. That was meant to be the peak in his career. He had trained for _four years_ for this, and it went out the window in less than two minutes.

Only one stall was free. He slipped inside, and closed the door. The lock was jammed. Fucking perfect.

He pushed his bag up against the door and pulled off his runners. His costume was a one-piece black suit with purple sprays of glitter up his sides and legs. The perfect way to fit in with his theme of Paranormal.

Unfortunately, it wasn't perfect for taking off in a small bathroom stall. He cursed as he hit the wall with his elbow, struggling to reach the zip. That would bruise.

He yanked the zipper down. It didn't matter what happened to the costume. He wouldn't be wearing it again anyway.

Then he paused, and took it off more slowly. That was wasteful. He could donate it or something. There was probably a charity that took pre-owned skating costumes and gave them to poorer skaters.

He was lucky. His father made a lot of money, and although he disapproved of Ryou's choice of career, supported him through it. Most didn't have that fortune. Plus, there was the money from the ice-skating that paid for his living expenses.

He grabbed his jeans from his bag and pulled them on as the door swung open. He yelped, yanking up the jeans. "Someone's in here!"

"Oh, right." The man blinked slowly, the stench of alcohol wafting from his mouth. "Sorry." His gaze flickered to Ryou's binder. Ryou quickly yanked on his t-shirt, but the man scowled. "What the fuck?"

"I-I'm one of the skaters; it helps for keeping your back straight on the ice-"

"You think I don't know boobs when I see them?" Ryou flinched. "What the fuck are you doing in here? Fucking faggot." He reached in and grabbed Ryou's hair. Ryou yelped, trying to push the man's arm away, but the stranger dragged him out of the stall.

Surely someone in one of the _other six_ stalls had to hear him? They were all locked and he could hear shuffling. Why was no one coming to help?

He yelped as he was slammed against the wall. A stall door swung open and one of the spectators walked out. Possibly a relative of one of the skaters – Ryou had seen them a few times.

They walked to the sink, washed their hands, and walked right past Ryou, out of the bathroom. They didn't even look at him, or the man pinning him to the wall.

Ryou's gaze flickered up to the man.

"I bet you came in here hoping this would happen," the man hissed. "You left the door unlocked and everything. You knew someone would find you. You wanted them to."

Ryou shook his head. "I-I didn't- the lock was broken- I-"

"Shut up," the man snarled. "I'm going to teach you a lesson, and you're never gonna come into the boys' bathrooms again, you fucking dyke." Ryou squeezed his eyes shut.

"Hey. Let him go."

Ryou's eyes blinked open and he glanced to the side. The man's hands were dangerously close to his pants, but the newcomer's voice had stopped him.

Blonde hair framed a tanned, lilac-eyed face, and Ryou almost mistook him for Mehi. Marik Ishtar – brother of Mehi's coach. His sister had insisted on him training longer than most, and though he was seventeen, he was only making his senior debut at the Worlds that year.

"Piss off," the stranger grumbled. "S'none of your beeswax."

Marik scowled. "I said let him go. Or I can call the security and have you thrown out and possibly prosecuted."

The man huffed. After a moment, he roughly released Ryou and stormed past Marik. Ryou let out a shaky breath and looked up at Marik. "T-Thanks-"

"Get out."

Ryou hesitated, shoulders hunching. "M-My bag-"

"Not out of the bathroom. Get out of figure skating." Marik's eyes narrowed. He spoke in Japanese – near-perfect pronunciation. "You're useless. Japan's top figure skater? Please. Yugi Mutou deserved the place more than you." Ryou flinched. "You know it's true. Just retire already. You're no good at it, so what's the point in keeping going?"

"I… I like it," Ryou whispered.

Marik scoffed. "You _like it_? So does everyone who goes for this career. You don't get far if you don't like it. But there are people who like it _more_. There's always someone who likes it more – who deserves what you got _more than you_." He shook his head. "You don't deserve to be here. So just leave before you make things worse." He turned and strode out of the bathroom.

Ryou stumbled back to his stall and leaned against the door, forcing it closed. He slid to the floor, tears flooding out of his eyes and down his cheeks.

He didn't move until Pegasus came looking for him half an hour later.

* * *

It was too stuffy. Too many people.

The ballroom the after-contest banquet was held in was large, but Ryou could barely take five steps without nearly crashing into someone.

He glanced around. He could see Marik in the corner of the room eyeing the champagne. He had, of course, won the Junior Grand Prix, beating his opponent by more than twenty points.

Mehi was near him – hair brushed down into a braid, wearing a lavender dress with a black sash and black combat boots.

Ryou took a step towards her, and then a step back. Who was he kidding? He couldn't talk to her.

"Hey, Ryou."

Ryou jumped and turned. "A-Atem?"

Atem Sennen stood behind him, sipping champagne with a smirk. "How are you? Your coach said you didn't deal with the loss very well."

Ryou cleared his throat. "Yeah. I guess not." He forced a smile. "Congratulations on bronze, though. That's a great placing."

"Hm." Atem took another sip of champagne, his eyes flickering to Mehi. "Perhaps. But not as good as gold."

Ryou followed his gaze. "Still better than me," he mumbled under his breath. Atem raised an eyebrow, but said nothing. "Are you coming back next year?"

Atem snorted. "Please. I'm only twenty-three. I'm not retiring yet."

Ryou shrugged. "Some retire by twenty-two."

"And those _some_ aren't me." Atem finished the champagne. "Would you like a glass?"

Yes. More than anything. "No; I don't drink." Another raised eyebrow, but no remark. "Have you seen Pegasus?"

"He just left to make a call," Atem replied. "Why?"

Ryou knew he had. He wanted an excuse to escape. He had to get out. "I just wanted to talk to him about something." He gave a quick wave and made his way towards the door. "Bye."

No one paid him much notice. The press was focused on Mehi. The guests didn't really want to talk to him – who would? He came sixth. That was a terrible place.

He didn't notice the press' view shift from Mehi to Bakura Touzoku, the silver medal winner, as he left. Or Mehi follow him out with a change of clothes under her arm.

He moved past the bathroom.

Kek hesitated before following him, keeping just out of Ryou's peripheral vision.

The rink was technically closed. He'd probably get in trouble. He stepped over the chain and pushed open the door. Oh well. They should have locked the doors.

The skates lined the wall in locked cubbies. Ryou quickly unlocked his and pulled out his own skates. He'd need a new pair before Nationals.

He locked the cubby again and exchanged his runners for the skates. Kek watched through the open door as Ryou tested the skates by standing. He then took out his phone, tapped a few buttons, and placed it on the edge of the rink.

As Ryou skated to the middle, Kek stepped into the rink – the coach's area. Just close enough to the door that he could see Ryou, but Ryou couldn't see him.

His eyes widened a fraction as the opening bars started, and Ryou slowly spun in a circle, arms rising above his head and then falling to his sides.

 _Haunted_ by Sinéad O'Connor. The song he had performed in his senior debut's free skate. It had won him silver, and if it wasn't his first Grand Prix, it would have won him gold.

Had Ryou been following him that long? That had been before the comic convention. Kek folded his arms as he watched Ryou gear up for the quadruple Lutz. He hadn't made it in his own free skate, but he made it in Kek's.

The steps were slower and more fluid than when Kek had first performed it; in rhythm, swerving with the beat, drawing Kek in.

He twisted into a combination spin, one hand raised, one covering his face. When he stood, traipsed less than three steps before skating into a triple axel, double toe-loop combination.

Kek hummed. Ryou's arms stayed raised with each of the jumps. Had he been in competition, he probably would have gotten the highest marks for each of them.

As Ryou ended the programme, hips swerving and turning into his finishing pose – head bowed, legs crossed, hands cupped over his chest – Kek slipped out of the rink. Only to walk back in moments later as Ryou skated towards the exit.

"Hey."

Ryou jumped and nearly fell on the ice. "M-Mehi."

Kek rubbed the back of his neck. "Kek at the moment, actually."

Ryou nodded and mumbled an apology. He stepped off the ice. "What are you doing here?"

"I was coming to change." Kek indicated to his bag. "I brought a suit too just in case. And then someone asked me to come find you and drag you back. Your coach, maybe."

Ryou nodded, not meeting his gaze. "Sorry."

He didn't remember. He couldn't. Of course he wouldn't. And even if he did, he wouldn't recognise Kek as the person he met. Kek had already been a rising child figure-skating genius at the time.

Even if Ryou linked the comic Kek to the skating Kek, he'd probably brush it off. He'd been wearing a wig anyway. And contacts. It didn't matter. Ryou mightn't want to remember him.

"Don't worry about it." Kek gave him a smile. "Come on. You should head back, and I need to change. Do you know the way back?" Ryou nodded. "Great. You go ahead, and I'll find my way back."

"Do you want me to wait?" Ryou mumbled as they left the rink. "I don't mind."

Kek hummed. "You wouldn't mind?"

"No, I'll wait," Ryou decided, stopping as they reached a bathroom. "You change."

Kek nodded. "Thanks." He dipped into the bathroom.

Ryou leaned against the wall and let out a breath. What was he doing? He was waiting outside the bathroom for his skating idol. In a shitty suit. With a shitty tie. And shitty hair gelled with shitty gel.

He let out a breath. Kek was just using him to get back to the banquet. Then he'd ignore Ryou, and Ryou could sneak up to his room again.

Moments later, Kek walked out of the bathroom. His hair was still down, but brushed out and his fringe splayed across his forehead. He wore a black suit with a lavender shirt and a black tie. "How does this look?"

Ryou looked away. "Good. The banquet's this way." He began walking, trying not to look at Kek. He would probably burst into tears if he did.

He was an idiot to ever think he could ever be as good as Kek.

* * *

 _"_ _Msr. Kosey, have you any hints for what your theme next year will be?"_ Kek hesitated.

It was the first time Anzu had seen him look troubled by the press' questions in a few years.

She looked up as the door opened. "Yugi? Is that you?"

Ryou bumped the door the rest of the way open with his hip, pulling a suitcase behind him. "H-hey." He was a bit out of breath. The elevator up to their apartment on the fourth floor of the building was 'under repairs'.

Anzu jumped up. "Ryou! What are you doing? I thought you weren't going to be back until December."

Ryou quickly closed the door and released his bag as Anzu threw her arms around him. "It's good to see you too, Anzu."

"That doesn't answer my question," she muttered after a minute.

Ryou sighed and shrugged. "I just wanted to come back."

"Buzzfeed said you ended things with Pegasus a few days ago."

"Of course they did," Ryou huffed.

"Is it true?"

Ryou shrugged. "Yeah… Yeah, maybe…"

"Maybe?" Anzu's eyebrows arched into her hairline as she pulled away.

Ryou looked down. "Yeah. I ended things with him," he muttered. "It wasn't fair on him. He spent four years training me, and then I crashed at the first Grand Prix I qualified for, and ended up last."

"You did your best," Anzu protested.

"That's why I ended it. I didn't." Ryou shook his head. "I should have done well. Or well enough anyway. I shouldn't have gotten sixth. I had a good programme – I was prepared. I shouldn't have gotten so spooked by my deadname."

"Ryou, that's-"

"Don't. It's not normal. It's been two years-"

"And no one knows that you're trans aside from family, and a few close friends," Anzu pointed out. "You still jump whenever anyone says your deadname – even if you just hear someone saying that's their name, or someone talking about your 'sister'. It's not necessarily what happens with everyone, but it's definitely understandable, and it's not not normal."

Ryou sighed and shrugged. "Yeah, I guess." He glanced at his bag. "I might hop down to the rink. Is Yugi there?"

"Yeah, he's practicing his short routine for the Nationals," Anzu confirmed. "Are you going to take part in them?"

"I don't know," Ryou admitted. "Maybe."

"You should. It'll do you good to get back on the ice." She folded her arms. "Plus you're one of the favourites to win this year."

"I'll think about it." Ryou assured her. "Do you want to come?"

"Nah, today's my rest day," Anzu replied. "You go have fun. I'm going to finish watching the interview with Kek."

"Okay, have fun." Ryou gave her a smile and one more quick hug before leaving the apartment.

The rink was only a two minute walk – it was closed to the public after five, but the management always left it open for any local figure skaters who wanted to practice. After a while, they had just given Yugi and Ryou a spare key because of how late the two practiced.

Sure enough, when Ryou walked in, he could hear _A Whole New World_ from Aladdin playing. The rink didn't let anyone use the stereo system while they were out, so the sound was muffled. Probably from Yugi's phone.

Ryou switched his shoes for a pair of skates and pulled off his coat and scarf. He left the three items on the bench next to Yugi's shoes, failing to notice the third pair under the bench.

He made his way out to the ice, just in time to see Yugi finish the routine with a combination spin, ending the song on both feet, back arched, and hands spread by his sides.

"Well done," Ryou called at the same time as someone else spoke.

"Well done on the toe-loop. Just make sure you remember to speed up a bit more as you go into it during Nationals."

Ryou turned at the same time as Yugi. Kek was on the ice, leaning against the barrier.

"Ryou!"

Kek turned to look at Ryou as Yugi darted off the ice and threw his arms around him. Ryou barely managed to catch him. "Hey, Yu'." He grinned, returning the hug.

Yugi looked up at him, smile splitting his face. "I was worried you weren't going to be back before Nationals; you would have missed Kek! I text you, but you were probably on a flight when he got here."

"Yeah, I haven't turned my phone on again yet," Ryou replied, releasing him. "Have you told Anzu?"

"Not yet. He only got here a few hours ago, and he's been helping me with my short programme."

Ryou looked up as Kek skated over. "Really?"

Kek nodded. "I'm on a short break before the Worlds and I thought I'd come back to Domino."

"Back?" Ryou's eyebrows arched.

Kek sighed, an amused smile tugging at his lips. "Damn. You really don't remember. The Sugawara cosplayer?"

Ryou's eyes widened. "That was you?"

Kek nodded. "Yeah. I used to come here every winter for a holiday. I haven't been able to the last two years, but I decided to start the tradition again." He gave Yugi a grin. "Anyway, I got here about half five, and the management wouldn't let me in because I wasn't local, and public hours were over, but Yugi convinced them that I was with him."

"No kidding," Ryou mumbled.

Yugi looked up at Ryou again. "Can I show you the programme? Kek helped me land the quads, and he showed me a few things that I'm adding in."

Ryou smiled and nodded. "Yeah, go ahead."

Yugi hopped onto the ice again, and Kek pressed the replay button on his phone. _A Whole New World_ began playing, and Yugi started his routine.

Ryou skated over to Kek, only half-focusing on the routine. "So are you here alone?"

Kek shook his head. "My cousin is with me. Our coach said it'd give him good worldly experience before he made his senior debut."

Ryou nodded. "Do you have a place to stay?"

Kek hummed. "We're renting an apartment in the Okami Apartment Blocks."

"Interesting." Ryou looked at him out of the corner of his eye. "That's where Yugi and I live."

Kek was smiling. "What a coincidence."

"Mhm. I'm sure it is." Ryou looked back at Yugi as he landed the quadruple toe-loop. "Thanks for helping him. He hasn't been able to land many quads before."

"It's only fair. He helped me, so I helped him." Kek shrugged.

Ryou bit his lip. "Would you like to go to dinner?" He blurted out. "With all of us. Yugi, myself, and our roommate Anzu, I mean. As a welcome back to Domino thing."

He was such an idiot. What was he doing?

Kek's head turned, and Ryou looked down. "Sure, I'd love to," he agreed. "Tomorrow at eight? After practice?"

Ryou's breath caught in his throat. "Sure."

"Great." Kek grinned. "You guys pick the restaurant." He turned back to Yugi as the routine ended. "That was a lot better, Yugi."

"Thanks!" Yugi was out of breath and grinning. "What did you think, Ryou?"

A smile Ryou couldn't hide was spreading across his face. "It was brilliant; way better than in the Cup of China."

Yugi's eyes lit up and he nodded. "I was thinking of moving one of the jumps in the second half back to the first half so it wouldn't be as tiring."

Kek hummed. "Not a bad idea. You'll get less points, but it'll be easier on your body."

The smile still wouldn't disappear. "Maybe you could move the flying sit spin into the second half and the jump back to the first?"

Yugi nodded in agreement. "Yeah." He skated towards the edge. "I'll just grab a drink. Back in a sec."

Kek glanced at Ryou. "Do you want to practice your routine? _Nightvision_ by Daft Punk, right?"

Ryou hesitated. "Yeah. Okay." He skated to the middle as Kek began playing the song from YouTube. He waited out the rain sounds and then began.

It wasn't as bad as the Grand Prix. He didn't screw up any of his spins or steps, but he barely landed any of his jumps.

Kek was biting the inside of his cheek by the time he finished. "Every time you jump, you start well, and then either end too early so you don't fall, or end too late so you don't end too early."

Ryou shrugged, out of breath. "I-I guess so."

"You need to stop thinking about the Grand Prix," Kek sighed, skating over to him. His movements were careless, fluid. Like it took less effort than walking did.

"Easy for you to say," Ryou muttered. "You didn't come last." After a moment of silence, he looked away. "Sorry."

"Don't be." Kek shrugged. "You're right. It is easy for me to say." He moved around Ryou until the other met his gaze. "But if you don't forget about the Grand Prix and focus on Nationals, you haven't got a hope of winning."

* * *

 **DV: So, yeah. As you can see, technically not a Yuri! on Ice crossover. More of a fanfiction inspired by it. Hope you enjoy! Please vote and review. See you next time, Murdering Majestors!**

 _Beta Reader's Note: As a Homestuck I felt attacked by this._


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey guys! Elliot here. I finally finished the second chapter! Woo! Hope you guys enjoy!**

* * *

 **Content Warnings:** Transphobic parent, mentions of rape/sexual assault, periods, body dysphoria.

* * *

Ryou hummed softly to himself as he stood outside the restaurant he and Yugi had agreed on. Mehi's cousin was apparently vegetarian, so they had picked a fancy restaurant that served the best vegetarian dishes in Domino.

And yet Ryou still felt out of place in his navy blazer, tan chinos, and brown leather shoes.

He shifted from foot to foot. Was it too casual? Too dressy? Why did it matter? They were just going to dinner as friends. As skater friends.

"Ryou."

Ryou jumped and looked up as Mehi approached. Her hair was pulled back into a low braid and she wore a deep red dress that reached her knees with a pair of black leggings and red heels.

"Hey." Ryou grinned at her and glanced around. "Is... your cousin not coming?"

Mehi snorted. "Nah. He decided to bail last minute and his coach told him he could use his free time to train a bit more."

Ryou shivered as a cold wind ripped through the narrow street. "Are you not freezing in that?"

Mehi grinned and shook her head. "No, I'm warm. The nights are a lot colder in Egypt than here."

"Good point," Ryou chuckled as his phone began ringing. He mumbled an apology and pulled it out. Yugi. "Where are you?" He asked once he answered.

A sneeze followed his question. _"I'm really sorry, Ry – I'm gonna stay home."_ Yugi's voice sounded nasally, like his nose was blocked.

Hay fever. Again.

"Yugi-" Ryou began.

 _"I know I'll be fine but if I stay home, I'll get better faster,"_ Yugi pointed out. He sneezed again. _"Have a great night!"_

"Yugi, wait-" Yugi hung up before he could finish. Ryou huffed and pocketed his phone.

Mehi looked amused. "He cancelled?"

"Yeah." Ryou shook his head. "I'm sorry..."

"Don't be," Mehi laughed, shaking her head. "Fuck them. We can have a nice dinner anyway, and this way we don't need to eat rabbit food."

Ryou began giggling. "Yeah, I guess so." He looked up at the vegetarian restaurant. They had made reservations, but it wouldn't cost them anything. "My favourite restaurant's nearby. We could go there."

"Sure." Mehi nodded and began following Ryou down the street. "What kind of food does it serve?"

"They do the best burgers in Domino," Ryou groaned. "They're so, so bad for you, but I only go there for special occasions like if I win a contest or something like that, so it's not the most unhealthy."

"Oh?" Mehi's voice had a teasing lilt to it. "And what's so special about tonight?" Ryou hesitated. "You said you only eat here on special occasions."

Ryou swallowed. "Uh..." He looked away, his face heating up. "Y-your first dinner out back in Domino."

"Mhm?" Mehi raised an eyebrow, still smiling. "I'm sure."

"It's true." Ryou didn't sound all that convincing. Even to himself.

"I'm sure," Mehi repeated. "So, did you think of what you're going to do about your comeback?"

Ryou's shoulders hunched. "Not really."

Mehi hummed. "What about a track?" Ryou shook his head. "A theme?"

Ryou chewed his lip. "I really don't know," he sighed. "Maybe fantasy or something to do with that."

Mehi sucked her teeth. "I guess. We can definitely work with it until you decide what theme you really want to do."

Ryou relaxed a little. "Good," he mumbled.

Mehi tilted her head when she saw him grow more subdued. "Okay, no more skating talk for the night," she decided, hooking arms with him. Ryou's face turned bright red. "Come on, let's go eat a heart attack on a plate."

Ryou started laughing. "They're not that bad!"

"Mhm. I'll believe it when I see it."

* * *

Ryou groaned when he woke up. His stomach ached when he tried to sit up, and he gripped it tightly. He probably ate too much yesterday. He had been eating a bit too much trash in the past few days.

He moved slowly towards the bathroom – a daily routine. He unplugged his phone on the way and brought it with him. As he sat on the toilet, he flicked through his Instagram account.

Both his official one and his personal one. His picture with Mehi outside the burger restaurant the previous night had gotten over seven thousand likes already, and his follower count had gone up.

He wasn't bothered to go through all of the notifications. He grew unnaturally bored with the cute pet photos that clogged his personal account and turned off his phone, looking down.

Fuck.

"No, no, no," he groaned, grabbing toilet paper as he stood. Blood stained the inside of the toilet, a copper tang filling the bathroom.

Ryou squeezed his eyes shut and flushed the toilet.

 _Fuck_.

He grabbed his phone and dialled Mehi's number. She had given it to him the previous night.

She picked it up after a few dials. _"Hello?"_ She sounded groggy.

A pang of guilt hit Ryou. He must have woken her up. "Hey, Mehi." He spoke softly.

 _"Kek today."_

"S-Sorry... Look, I... I can't come into the rink today, so you'll be alone with Yugi and your cousin. That okay?"

He heard rustling. _"Yeah, but why?"_

"I... I'm just not feeling well. I must have gotten a bad burger." He laughed, but it sounded forced.

 _"Are you sure you're okay?"_ Kek asked.

"Yeah. Yeah, no, I'm fine. I should be back to normal before tomorrow." Ryou made himself smile brightly even though Kek couldn't see him. "Sorry."

 _"Don't worry about it, Ryou. Just take care of yourself, okay?"_

"I will," Ryou promised. "Bye." He hung up and his arm dropped. After a minute, he placed his phone on the sink and grabbed a tampon, unwrapping it.

Yugi would already be down at the rink, so he'd be alone with Anzu until she left for practice. That wouldn't be bad. She wouldn't make a fuss of it.

He kicked off his pyjama pants and threw the wrapper into the bin. He needed a clean pair.

He scoured his room for a few minutes before pulling out a pair of loose pyjamas and old pants that he kept specifically for his periods. He hated wearing them, but they were better than boxers for this.

He lined them with two extra-absorbent pads. He had only just begun taking legal oestrogen blockers, so they hadn't begun blocking his periods yet, and his previous ones had worn off after the three-month wait to be diagnosed and prescribed them.

He couldn't wait for the next month he got through without looking down and seeing blood everywhere.

He paused once he was partially dressed again, looking at his binder. He knew he wasn't _meant_ to wear it on his period, or when he was sick. It would cause over-constriction. Anzu had lectured him about it for long enough.

He pulled it on anyway, and replaced his pyjama top with a loose Batman t-shirt that would hide it until Anzu left. His dysphoria was already high enough now – he didn't need to make it worse.

When he trudged out of his room, Anzu was in the kitchen making coffee. She only took one look at him before frowning. "Take it off."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Ry, I know when you're wearing a binder. Take it off. You know it's not safe when you're sick."

Ryou sighed and slumped towards the couch. "I'm not necessarily sick."

"Well you're not going to the rink or you'd be gone already." Maybe he had pressed snooze a few too many times. "You're wearing baggy clothes." He always did when he wasn't feeling well. "And I haven't seen those pyjama pants since last month."

"I'm not taking it off," he muttered, dropping onto the couch.

Anzu sighed. "Fine, but don't blame me when your chest hurts tomorrow."

"I won't," he groaned.

"Mhm. I'll believe it when I see it." She sounded far too much like Kek had for comfort.

"Don't you have to go to practice?" Ryou yawned, pulling a blanket over himself. He was planning on dosing on the couch until he was hungry enough to get food, and then binge watch _Orange is the New Black_ until the others came back.

"Okay, okay. I'm going." Anzu downed the last of her coffee and grabbed her keys. "I'll see you later."

"Bye," Ryou called as she left the house. As _Orange is the New Black_ loaded, he pulled out his phone and checked his tumblr.

Most of it was a mixed bag of memes and aesthetic photos, but occasionally one or two things that were worth watching or reading popped up.

Ryou's finger hovered over the link for a second before he clicked into it. It redirected him to Instagram.

He watched as a yoga instructor in white pants began an everyday routine. As she did so, a red spot of blood between her legs became increasingly obvious.

Ryou checked the description. She had done it because her friends had been too scared to do the same because of social stigma about periods, despite the incentive of a _lot_ of packets of pads, which cost way too much for a necessity.

She then went on to say how scared she always was of her own period and how she wanted to end the stigma against a natural bodily function.

Ryou hesitated, his mood lifting a little.

Natural bodily function. That... that made him feel better. He double tapped it and hesitated, lingering over the comments section.

 **hitchcocktrash: Thank you so much for making this video. I really appreciate it, and tbh, I needed it today. The world could use a lot more people like you. Thank you.**

His finger hovered over the send button for a second. Just as he was about to press it, the doorbell rang, and he jumped. "Who is it?"

"Kek. Can I come in?"

He hesitated before deleting the comment and logging off Instagram. "Coming." He threw the blanket away and padded towards the door in his bare feet.

He pulled it open, staring at Kek. He was grinning in jeans and a leather jacket, carrying a paper bag. "Hey."

"Hey..." Ryou paused. "What are you doing here? I thought you were practicing today."

"I was." Kek nodded. "I called Yugi after you called and said I was coming over to take care of you."

Ryou swallowed. He couldn't do this. Not today.

What if he leaked on the couch or something?

Fuck. That would ruin everything. Fuck. He had to get rid of him.

"Really, I'm fine. Just cramps."

Kek held up his bag. "I got some chicken soup and a hot water bottle."

Ryou hesitated. Get rid of him. But don't be rude. But _get rid of him_.

After a moment, he stepped to the side to let Kek inside. Kek grinned and stepped through the door. He toed off his shoes as Ryou closed the door. "Thanks."

"I should be the one thanking you." Ryou offered a small smile.

Kek snorted. "Don't. The soup isn't going to be that good."

"Still." Ryou took the paper bag and walked towards the kitchen. "It's the thought that counts."

Kek took the bag back. "Nope. No. Get back onto the couch."

Ryou blinked. "Excuse me?"

"You're sick today, so I'm taking care of you." Kek smiled. "That means you sit on the couch and watch _Orange is the New Black_ while I make you soup and a hot water bottle."

Ryou hesitated. "But I can do it."

"But I want to. So relax."

He didn't want to. He wanted to keep busy. It would stop him worrying about Kek finding out, and it would stop him glaring down at his body.

But he nodded. "Okay."

Kek chuckled. "Go lie down. I'll be back in a few minutes."

But when he returned with the bottle of hot water and the cup of soup, Ryou was curled up on the couch, fast asleep. Kek set the cup on the table and gently shifted Ryou so he could place the bottle on the other's stomach.

A soft smile returned to his face as Ryou whined when he pulled away. "Sleep well, Ry."

* * *

"Come on, Ryou."

Ryou skidded to a halt, panting. At least he hadn't fallen again. "S-Sorry. I'm trying."

Kek sighed. "I know you are, but you can do better than this." Ryou's vision blurred as he stared at the scratched ice. Kek sighed again, looking concerned this time. "Maybe you should take the rest of the day off? You're not looking well."

Ryou shook his head. "I'm fine."

"Are you sure?" Kek raised an eyebrow. "It's only been a day, and you seemed sick enough yesterday."

Ryou shook his head again. "I'm fine," he repeated. He couldn't afford to take a few days off just because he was on his period. He didn't even know how long it would take to stop his periods this time. A month? Two? Nowhere online was giving him accurate information and he hadn't thought to ask his therapist.

Kek hummed. "Alright. Try it again." He set the music back to the start and Ryou skated into the middle of the ice.

It was _Nightvision_ again. They had both agreed that there was no point in starting a new routine when Ryou hadn't even decided on a theme.

Ryou never even noticed the fourth person enter the rink. Not until he was finished, breathing heavily, and he heard a snort.

"That was pretty fucking pathetic."

He turned. A boy leaned against the barrier, long blonde hair swept back into a braid and dramatic kohl lining his lilac eyes. He wore simple clothes – leggings over a dancer's belt, and a light pink t-shirt.

Kek didn't even look back at him. "Marik, what do I keep telling you about coming in during practice?"

"Calm down. I'm coming in to practice today." Marik Ishtar's eyes were still fixed on Ryou.

Kek rolled his eyes. "Ryou, this is my cousin, Marik. Marik, this is Ryou."

"I know who he is."

They both spoke at the same time. Ryou's voice wavered while Marik's was hard.

He couldn't help but remember the incident in the bathroom. Marik knew. Marik knew he was trans. If he decided to spill it – to any newspaper or media outlet – Ryou would be ruined.

And the smirk on Marik's face told Ryou that he knew it all too well.

Kek turned to scowl at Marik, hand on his hip. "If you're here to practice, where's Ishizu?"

"She wanted us to do some 'cousinly bonding'." Marik flicked his fringe out of his eyes as he skated out onto the ice. "Complete bullshit. Just like his routine."

Ryou's face burned and he looked away. Kek's eyes narrowed. "I've been adding bits to it and taking bits away, so you're insulting my choreography, _cousin dearest_. The choreography that got you the gold medal in the Junior GPF."

"Oh, well in that case, I'm so sorry." Marik's voice dripped with sarcasm. "And it wasn't your choreography that won me the medal. _I_ won it. No one else." He shot Kek a glare. "And don't you dare forget that."

Kek didn't indulge him anymore. He turned to Ryou. "How about we do a general routine to warm up again."

Ryou hesitated. "With Marik?"

"Well unless he doesn't want to-"

"Like I have a choice," Marik snorted. "Ishizu's making me."

Kek shrugged. "Then yes. With Marik."

After a moment, Ryou nodded. "Okay then..." It would be interesting, if nothing else.

Marik sighed. "What song should we do?"

Kek tapped his chin with his finger. "Do you both know the _Until the World Goes Cold_ routine that I did?"

"Trivium?" Marik rolled his eyes. "Every skater knows it."

Kek gave him a sickeningly sweet smile. "Good. Then you can both do it now."

Ryou swallowed as Marik rolled his eyes, but they both skated to the starting position, standing only a few metres apart.

Yugi, who had been watching at the side of the rink turned on the song. His anxiety had been acting up, so Kek had told him to relax and just watch for a little bit.

As the routine started, Yugi took out his own phone and began to video it. He probably wouldn't get another chance to see two skaters of their level skating the routine again, and he wanted record of it.

Kek noticed, but didn't comment. Neither of the other two even saw the camera.

They both performed well – Ryou with more emotion, and Marik with more grace and finesse. By the time the routine was over, they were both out of breath and Yugi hit the upload button. He always posted videos of his friends skating old routines during practice, and he was sure no one would mind.

He would double-check later, and if there was a problem, he could take it down.

"Well?" Marik asked, scowling at Kek.

Kek nodded. "It was okay." Okay? Just okay? "Take it from the top."

Ryou swallowed. If this was how Kek trained every day, Ryou no longer had any doubt about how he became one of the world's greatest skaters. Not on talent alone, or on looks.

On sheer force of will.

And Ryou was absolutely determined to do the same.

* * *

Bang, bang, bang.

Ryou's eyelids pulled themselves open. Wait, why wasn't he in prison? It was the movie night and he was trying to get away from his prison wife- wait, why had he been in a girls' prison?

He turned and closed his eyes. When he started dreaming that he was Sofia, he knew he had watched too much _Orange is the New Black_ before bed.

Bang, bang, bang.

He groaned and pulled his blanket over his face. "Go away..."

"Ryou, come out!"

"Stop knocking and just open the door."

"No, I-"

"I'm up!" Ryou called, throwing off the blanket though he sat up slowly. He recognised a voice deeper than either Yugi's or Anzu's outside; maybe Kek. He glanced at the clock.

But why would he be there? It wasn't even seven.

He staggered to his feet and exchanged his _Simpsons_ pyjama top for a binder and a _Pacman_ t-shirt.

He glanced at himself in the mirror. Too much of a visible bump. He reached into his binder and pushed out his breasts to the side and then checked again. Better.

He pulled open the door. He was right. Kek was standing there, behind Anzu and Yugi. "What's going on?" He asked, yawning.

"Did you check your phone?" Yugi asked, words tumbling out of his mouth.

Ryou shook his head. "No, it ran out of power last night, so it's charging." His words seemed ridiculously slow-paced in the aftermath of Yugi's rushed sentence.

"Look." Yugi shoved his phone at Ryou.

Ryou caught it and stared at the lock screen. "What-?"

"Here." Anzu exchanged Yugi's phone for her own.

Google was opened up, with his name typed into it. Ryou's hand shook as he stared at the first four results.

 **Ryou Bakura is a girl?!**

 **Ryou Bakura caught on film wearing chest binder.**

 **No official death certificate for Amane Bakura – linked to Ryou Bakura?**

 **Is Skater Ryou Bakura's sex linked to his flunk at the GPF in 2016?**

"What happened?" His voice was no louder than a whisper.

"Did someone walk in on you changing at the GPF?" Anzu asked. Ryou slowly nodded. "They came out and said you were a girl. Someone scoured Yugi's YouTube channel and found a few videos of you visibly wearing a binder."

Ryou's shaking grew more visible

"I'm sorry, Ry, I should've been more careful..." Yugi shook his head.

"I-It's not your fault." Ryou looked up at them. "So... So it's out?"

"Not really," Anzu murmured. "No one knows what's going on."

Yugi's phone began vibrating and the shorter skater glanced at the caller ID. He passed it to Ryou. "It's your father."

Ryou swallowed and took the phone, passing Anzu's back to her. He looked up at Kek. He hadn't said a word, but he gave Ryou a comforting smile.

Ryou drew in a breath before answering. "Hello?"

 _"Amane, why isn't your phone on?"_

Ryou flinched. The volume was loud enough for the others to hear. "Out of power."

 _"Have you seen the news?"_

"I have."

 _"You got careless. The one thing you can't afford to do with what you are."_

Ryou squeezed his eyes shut. "I know." His voice cracked.

 _"Maybe you should come out of skating for a bit. This was what I was afraid of when you said you wanted to be a boy_." Ryou didn't respond and his father sighed. " _I'm saying this for your own good, Amane."_

"My name's Ryou."

His father paused. _"Amane, you know I'm trying. It's hard for me. You've always been my little girl."_ There was a softness that Ryou wasn't used to in his voice.

It made his stomach churn and his eyes burn. "I know. Sorry, I just-"

 _"I know that this is hard for you, but this is hard for me too. This is going to affect us both. Badly."_ The curtness was back.

"I know, but-" A sob escaped him, and he disguised it as a shaky breath. "I'm not leaving skating."

 _"Then what about giving up on the hormones and surgery? It might make this easier. Just go back to skating in the girls' section. You never lost at a major competition then. Maybe you're just not cut out for this."_

Ryou opened his mouth but all that came out was another sob.

 _"Don't start that with me, Amane."_

"Dad, I can't do that. I can't."

A pause. _"I'm disappointed in you."_

Ryou covered his mouth with his hand. He felt someone take the phone from him and looked up to see Kek hold it up to his ear. "This is Kek Kosey. Your _son_ doesn't want to talk to you at the moment, so take your disappointment and go fuck yourself with it." He hung up and passed the phone back to Anzu. "C'm'ere." He held out his arms.

Craving comfort, Ryou stumbled into them, sobbing into Kek's chest.

"It's okay," Kek murmured, rubbing his back. "It's okay. We'll figure this out. You're not going to quit, and you're not going to go back to the girls' section."

"H-H-How?" Ryou's voice was muffled.

Yugi looked up at Anzu. "We... We could call a press conference? Clear everything up?"

"But what should we plan to say?" Anzu shook her head. "They all think they know everything already."

Kek looked down, vision obscured by Ryou's white mess of morning hair. "What do you want to do, Ryou?"

"I-" Ryou shook his head, clinging tighter to him. "I don't know..."

* * *

"Are you sure this will work?" Ryou hissed.

Yugi hesitated. "Almost." He adjusted Ryou's dark wig. "Most people in Japan have dark hair, so this'll hide you from sight. A little anyway."

Ryou peeked outside. He and Yugi had slipped into a janitor's closet behind the stairs. They had expected some paparazzi outside, but not this many.

"What about you?" He asked, turning back to Yugi. "Your hair is pretty noticeable too."

Yugi held up a second wig – shorter than Ryou's – and began to fix it into place over his own hair. "It'll do for now."

Ryou let out a breath. "I fucked up."

"No." Yugi shook his head. "This wasn't your fault."

"I should have been more careful."

"How?"

"Not wearing white tops with a black binder."

Yugi rolled his eyes. "It was probably laundry day, and it was my fault for posting the video."

"Well I told you that you could."

"You can't blame everything on yourself." Yugi finished adjusting his wig. "Ready to go?"

Ryou nodded and picked up his bag. They were both wearing their old high school uniforms. They weren't in the same district that they had previously gone to high school in, but the nearby high school had an extremely similar uniform to the one they used to have.

Ryou found himself praying to gods he had never believed in that no one would notice them as they hurried by. It was early enough that they could have been teenagers on their way to school, and with his features and Yugi's height, they should pass.

But he was still sweating.

He didn't stop. Not walking, not sweating, not praying. Not until they reached the rink, which was closed to everyone except professional skaters for that day.

There were a few paparazzi mulling around but none paid much attention to the two boys as they ran inside. Ryou pulled the wig off, shaking. "We can't do that every day."

"We might have to."

"They're going to catch us."

"They won't," Yugi assured him. "Trust me. I won't let it happen."

"You're late." They looked up to see Kek standing at the edge of the rink, skates on.

Marik was already on the ice, warming up.

"Sorry." Ryou looked away. "Paparazzi."

"It's okay." Kek nodded and gave him a small smile. "It'll die down soon."

Ryou doubted it. Just like he doubted he'd get through the day with Marik there.

But, surprisingly, Marik skated up to him as he warmed up. Kek and Yugi were in the changing room, discussing Yugi's short program.

"So, is it true?"

Ryou swallowed. "Is what true?"

Marik scowled. "You know exactly what I mean."

After a moment, Ryou looked away. "Yeah. I'm trans. You already knew that - you saw me that day."

Marik nodded. "I wanted to make sure. You know you fucked up, right?" Ryou's heart sank. "The secrecy makes it seem so..." He frowned, searching for the right translation. "Scandalous."

"I didn't have much of a choice." Ryou skated into a jump and landed too hard, falling.

Marik followed him into the same jump and landed perfectly. "Of course you did. You were a fucking grown man when Amane 'died'. You should have decided to come out."

"I did come out," Ryou snapped. He swallowed. "Sorry."

"If I hear you say sorry one more time-"

"I'm sorry, it's a habit." Ryou clambered to his feet.

Marik rolled his eyes, his hand resting on his jutted-out hip. "My point is you could have easily come out and told the world that you were trans. You weren't daddy's precious little baby anymore."

Ryou gritted his teeth. Marik was right, and he hated that knowing it made him so angry. "I was in a complicated situation. I was lucky that I was able to even do what I did."

"Whatever." Marik reached up and pulled his blonde hair up into a ponytail. "So, wigs and school uniforms as your disguise?" Ryou nodded. "Every day?" Another nod, hesitant. "For how long?" A pause. "You can't live like this." Marik met his gaze. "Kek said you're not calling a press conference."

Ryou looked away. "I don't want to draw attention to it."

"Get your head out of your ass. The spotlight's already on you. Either land the jump or get out of the spotlight and give it to someone else before you fall." Marik's scowl deepened.

"But my father-"

"Has nothing to do with this." Marik folded his arms. "Don't be a fucking idiot. Take control of your life and call the damn press conference."

* * *

"It's going to be fine," Kek soothed, taking Ryou's hand and giving it a small squeeze.

Ryou tensed for a second at the action, but relaxed soon after. "Easy for you to say."

"I know. I don't have anything on the line." Kek met his gaze. "But I've been through this before. I know how to run this. It'll be okay."

"I hope you're right." Ryou fidgeted with his birth certificate and forms for his legal change of name from a few years previously. "What is it that you're even going to gloss it over with?"

Kek offered him a smile. "You'll see." He hummed as they waited for the press to settle in their seats. The table that they sat at was long and covered in a white tablecloth. "Have you picked your theme?"

"Depending on how this press conference goes, I might not need one," Ryou groaned. "But I think so."

"Good." Kek smiled. "Tell me what it is once we get to the rink. Because you're definitely going to need one."

Ryou nodded slowly as he looked around. He was so used to having his coach with him at press conferences. He didn't know what to do.

Kek took over for him once the room fell quiet. He stood. "As you all know, there have been some rumours circulating about Skater Ryou Bakura. We're here to clear up any misgivings that you might have, and to give as much accurate information as we can to ensure that people understand what's going on." His eyes flickered to Ryou.

The boy took a breath and stood. "Amane Bakura was a fantastic skater up until her death in 2013," he began, his voice shaking. "After her death, I emerged and reached her ranks, but in the male section." He took a breath. "There is no easy way to say this. I am transgender." There were a few murmurs. "My old name was Amane Bakura, and it was legally changed to Ryou Bakura in 2012. And while she is not literally dead, she is dead in the sense that she no longer exists. I used to be her, yes. But now, I'm Ryou."

One man held up his hand. "Japan Times. Bakura-san, what does this mean for your skating career?"

"Nothing, I hope." Ryou offered a smile. "I still plan to continue as usual."

A woman stood up next. "Daily Mail. Why didn't you come out publicly before now?"

"I have my reasons; none of which I wish to disclose at the minute," Ryou replied.

Another woman stood. "Domino Express. Would you care to comment about Mr. Moretti, the man who walked in on you changing at the GPF last year?"

Ryou's throat closed. "No."

"An anonymous witness said that he tried to force himself onto you."

"He said that he wouldn't like to comment," Kek cut in.

Ryou sank into his seat when no one else stood up. Most seemed to have wanted a comment on the man that had seen him.

"Before everyone leaves, I would like to make an announcement as well." Kek cleared his throat. "I plan to become Ryou's coach for this skating season."

Everyone's heads snapped towards him. Even Ryou's.

"I still plan to continue my own skating career in the meantime," Kek continued, "but I absolutely intend to give this everything I have." Kek turned to Ryou. "If you'll have me as your coach, that is."

His eyes were burning again, but he wasn't about to cry. Not at a press conference. He could only nod. "I... I'd love to."

Kek's smile was small, but his eyes were bright as he turned back to the press. "Thank you for being here today."

There was a rush of questions and flashes as Ryou and Kek left the conference room, but they were all ignored.

Once they were out of sight, Ryou turned to Kek. "Were you serious back there?" He asked.

Kek blinked. "You mean do I really want to be your coach?" Ryou nodded. "Well it'd be a bit messed up if I didn't. I just told the press-"

"But I'm a mess," Ryou protested. "And no one has ever coached and skated in the same season before!"

Kek gave him a smirk. "Then I'll just need to set a new record." He took both of Ryou's hands, stopping him in the middle of the hallway. "I meant it. As long as you'll have me as your coach, I will be." He tilted his head. "But that also means you have to tell me your theme for the season. Otherwise I'll go back in there and tell them that I'm not your coach."

Ryou couldn't help but laugh, even as his eyes welled up again. "I can't believe you. I bet this entire thing was a ruse to get my theme out of me." Kek shrugged one shoulder, a half grin on his face. Ryou swallowed, his laugh fading into a small smile. "Discovery. My theme's going to be discovery. There's just... There's just a lot that I don't know. About others, skating... me even. Skating and dancing have always helped me through hard times and they've helped me grow as a person, so I thought that it..." He looked up at Kek. "Fit."

Kek's smile was softer than his, but bigger. "Trust me," he assured the other. "I've never seen a theme that fit anyone as much as that fits you." He dropped one of Ryou's hands. "Let's go sort out your songs."

They left the building, still holding hands, and they both pretended not to remember to pull their hand away.

* * *

 **Hope you guys are enjoying so far. Also, if you have any song suggestions for characters, let me know because I'm planning on doing not only the six skaters that make it to the GPF, but also the skaters in the cups, and the female skaters. So I could really use the help. Thanks! See you next time, Murdering Majestors!**

* * *

 **Reviews:**

 **Time-Stopping-666:** Thank you so much! I'm really glad that you think I'm portraying the characters well! I really hope you like this chapter!


	3. Chapter 3

**Hey everyone. Sorry I haven't updated in ages. School is stressful and I find it hard to write during it, and then I didn't like this chapter because it was taking me so long to write, but here you go! Hope you enjoy!**

 **CW:** Self harm, destructive thoughts, suicidal ideation.

* * *

"Morning, Ryou," the desk attendant greeted as Ryou stepped into the building. "No press today?"

Ryou smiled at him. "Nope. We cleared it up." He lied. There had been a few journalists at his apartment block, but Anzu had dealt with it. Pretty calmly, all things considered. "Are Kek and Yugi here yet?"

The attendant nodded. "And the other one too – Marik?"

Ryou managed not to sigh as he thanked the attendant and made his way into the ice. He could hear music playing and looked up to see Yugi skating his free programme. He watched as he pulled on his skates.

Yugi finished on a flying sit spin – his speciality – but it nearly sent him crashing into the side. He stood again, out of breath as he looked at Kek. "H-H- Sorry, how was th-at?"

Kek hesitated. Ryou could see he wanted to be nice, but skating wasn't a sport one could afford to be nice in. "It... wasn't bad, but I've seen you do a lot better." Yugi's shoulders sagged. "You seemed tense. Maybe try doing a few more warm-ups?"

"You might as well tell him to just be a better skater," Marik scoffed.

Kek shot him a glare and turned back to Yugi. "It's not a matter of that. You're a good skater-" Good. Ryou knew that would echo around in Yugi's head all day. Good. Not great. "-and you can do a lot better than that. We just need to figure out what happened to throw you off. So try the warm-ups for a starting point."

Yugi hesitated and opened his mouth, but closed it again and nodded. He skated off to the far side of the rink as Ryou stepped onto the ice.

Marik groaned. "Great. Another subpar skater."

"Marik, if you don't cut the attitude, you're going to need to leave." Kek glared at him again. Marik matched his glare for a moment before looking away. "I thought as much." Kek turned back to Ryou. "Okay, so I know we discussed your theme for next season, but you need to stick with what you have until Nationals, which are only a week away." Ryou nodded. "Let's try your free skate first." Kek glanced back at Marik. "Put on _Take a Bow_."

Marik flipped him off but when Ryou stood in his starting pose, he heard the music start. He took a breath and began, circling the spot he had just been in, hands running from the top of his head to his waist and back up again.

When the lyrics began, he skated into his first step sequence, ending it with a triple salchow. He stumbled, putting down his hand to catch himself.

"Pause it," Kek called. Ryou stood. "You okay?" He nodded. "You've warmed up, right?"

Another nod. "I ran all the way here and I stretched at home."

"For how long?" Kek pressed.

Ryou shook his head. "Half an hour."

Kek hummed. "Okay. Try that again. Just the sequence into the jump."

Ryou nodded and skated back to where the sequence started. The music started again and he skated into it. He tensed before his jump and when he landed, his leg gave out from under him and he fell.

Kek didn't call for the music to stop, so he pushed himself up and skated into the combination spin. Next double toe loop followed by a quad. He landed the triple and fell again when he tried to land the quad.

"Stop," Kek called again.

Ryou winced as he pushed himself to his feet. "Sorry..."

"Is everything okay, Ryou?" Yugi asked, making his way over.

Ryou nodded. "Yeah. Yeah, no, I'm fine. I'm not sure what's up with me today."

Kek chewed his lip. "Quads always pose a trouble for you, don't they?"

"A bit," Ryou admitted.

Marik snorted. "They ruin your entire programme."

"But I can't get by without them," Ryou protested.

Marik shrugged. "I won the Junior GPF with absolutely no quads. Three times."

"Yeah, that's different." Ryou folded his arms. "The juniors don't use a lot of quads. Some people this year had six in their programmes."

"So?" Marik shrugged.

"So if I take out my quads I'll have a lower base score."

"But," Kek cut in, "you're more likely to get three extra points rather than minus points for your jumps. It might actually bring your technical score up."

Ryou hesitated and looked over at Kek. "Really?"

"That's what I was saying." Marik scowled. "What, it's more believable because he says it?"

"Yes." All three of them responded at the same time.

"Well fuck you guys too. I can outskate all of you."

"We'll see," Kek muttered, smirking. "Ryou, why don't you try warming up a little bit more? Practice some triples. Don't do quads yet."

Ryou nodded and skated over to the same area Yugi had been practicing in.

Kek turned to Marik. "Since you're feeling so confident in yourself, let's see you do your programme. It'll probably be the last time you do this one this season."

Marik scoffed and pulled his hair up into a ponytail as he skated to the middle of the rink. "The way these two are going, I doubt it. Put on-"

"I know." Kek went into his playlist and turned on a song that Ryou didn't recognise for a few moments.

Khachaturian's Toccata in E-flat minor.

Marik shot him a smirk, jolting into action with an instant four step sequence, followed by a camel spin. He skated a semi-circle around the rink and twisted into a jump. He was only meant to do a triple salchow but he landed a quadruple instead.

His smirk only grew as he landed neatly and twisted into another sequence.

Ryou bit his tongue and looked away. The music was loud, hammering on the inside of his head like a typhoon.

Ignore it. Ignore it. He and Yugi were just as good at skating as Marik was. He had made it to the GPF too.

He glanced at his roommate. Yugi was watching, eyes narrowed, scrutinising Marik's performance.

But Yugi hadn't made it.

"You okay?" Ryou asked.

Yugi looked up at him. "Yeah. Why do you ask?"

"I've never seen you as out of yourself as you were when you were skating."

Yugi shook his head and gave Ryou a cheerful smile. "I'm fine. Just a bad day."

Ryou chewed his tongue. "If you say so." He went back to practicing his jumps, and fell when he tried to land a triple Lutz. At the same time, Marik landed one.

Ryou picked himself up, ignoring the younger skater. He looked back at Yugi. He was watching Marik again, mumbling scores under his breath.

Maybe- no. No, Yugi said he was fine. Ryou just had to trust him.

He looked away. Maybe he just _wanted_ to trust him.

* * *

Yugi stared at the mirror, picking out every imperfection he could find with a critical amethyst gaze.

Blotchy skin. Chubby cheeks. Spots appearing around his hairline. Red rimmed eyes. Hair that wouldn't obey him. Greasy nose. One eyebrow lower than the other.

He gripped the edges of the sink and looked down at his hands. Small. Short arms. Short legs. He looked up at the mirror again. No facial hair. No signs of puberty.

"Stop."

High pitched voice.

He could feel his breath quickening. He knew this always sent him spiralling into a panic attack, but he never seemed to manage to stop himself.

He closed his eyes. Think of something else.

Something else. Anything else.

 _A Whole New World_. He was going skating that soon. It was his best routine yet. And his coach Pegasus was coming back in an hour.

But he had screwed up the routine the last few days.

He blinked a few times.

He was falling. Fumbling his signature moves. Tripping over his step sequence.

He was ruining the best routine he had ever done because _he_ was the one doing it.

If it was another, more experienced skater like Kek, or Ryou, or even Marik, the routine would be perfect.

His breathing was speeding up again. This wasn't working. He had pushed himself deeper into panic rather than pulling himself out.

It was all his fault. It was always his fault.

He dropped his head, resting it against the cool mirror. Blinked a few times. Eyes flickering from object to object.

They landed on the razors at the side of the basin.

He hesitated.

He shouldn't.

He picked one of the thin, metal sheets up and tested the blade on his finger, although he already knew how sharp it would be.

He really, really shouldn't.

He pulled up the side of his shirt. Shallow, narrow red lines marred his hips and side. He brought the razor to his hip and hesitated.

He shouldn't.

He closed his eyes as he dragged the razor across his skin. His body relaxed as the panic stopped, the physical pain distracting from the mental turmoil.

That was better. He opened his eyes. Shit, that was deeper than usual. He grabbed a wad of tissue and gently dabbed it. He always tried not to cut deep enough to draw much blood. If they tore in a competition, he wouldn't be able to hide them.

A thin line of spotted blood came away on the paper, and he kept dabbing until the blood was gone. The wound stung, and it was a blissful, constant way to draw him back to reality.

Someone knocked on the door. "Yugi, Kek's here. He's bringing me training off the ice today," Ryou called in. He probably wanted to avoid Pegasus. Neither of them had spoken since Ryou had dropped him as his coach. "Is that okay?"

Yugi lowered his shirt and dropped the tissue into the toilet. He flushed it and unlocked the door, smiling. "Yeah, of course."

Ryou hesitated. "Are you sure?"

Yugi nodded. "Don't worry, I'm a big boy. I can make my way down to the rink on my own."

Ryou grinned. "If you say so." He turned towards the door, where Kek was waiting. "See you later!"

"Yeah, see you."

Yugi waited until the door was closed before retreating back into the bathroom.

He knew for a fact Ryou was gone. Kek too. Anzu was either at the rink, a ballet class, or sleeping. Either way, she wouldn't be disturbing him.

He hesitated as his gaze fell on the razor again.

One more couldn't hurt.

* * *

"Why are we climbing a mountain?" Ryou groaned as he followed Kek up the badly crafted steps.

"It's not a mountain; it's a hill." Kek looked back at him, barely out of breath. "And you need to work on your stamina more. It's probably your best asset."

"Thanks." Ryou's voice dripped with sarcasm but Kek grinned.

"You're welcome."

Ryou grimaced and tugged at his shirt. He was lucky that he had decided to wash his binder that day – he was wearing two sports bras instead. One the right way around, one on backwards. It wasn't as constricting, but it still didn't feel good.

"You never answered my question."

"I just want to show you something," Kek replied. "Come on, we're nearly there. I promise."

"You said that twenty minutes ago!" Ryou protested.

Kek shrugged. "Not my fault you're a slow climber," he teased.

Ryou rolled his eyes, pausing and leaning against a tree. "What are you trying to show me?"

"The view." Kek stopped as well and gave him a smile. "Do you want some water?"

Ryou licked his lips and nodded. Kek passed him the thermal flask and Ryou took a greedy mouthful. "Thanks," he mumbled, wiping his mouth.

"You know, you can have more if you want." Kek tilted his head. "We don't want you getting dehydrated."

"I'm fine," Ryou assured him, closing the flask and handing it back to Kek.

The other sighed but slid it back into the side pocket of his bag. "If you say so." He turned back towards the steps. "Come on, we only have about thirty more to go."

Ryou whined wordlessly but dragged himself up the rest of the rocks after Kek. Once they were at the top, they both sat atop a flat boulder, basking in the warm glow of the afternoon sun. It had taken them nearly two hours to climb the hill, so it was reaching the hottest time of the day.

"So why are we here?" Ryou asked.

Kek nodded out at the view in front of them.

Ryou could only see the city and the sea. There weren't a lot of mountains around Domino. The beach looked nice, he supposed.

But he was never really one for beautiful sights.

"I was here when I decided to skate."

Ryou looked up at him. "That's a bit odd," he mumbled. "There isn't anything here related to skating."

Kek nodded. "You probably know this already," he murmured, leaning forward on his knees, "but my mother was a figure skater. My father was a professional martial artist. He always wanted me to take after him."

Ryou nodded. "He founded several martial arts schools, right?"

Kek nodded. "Yeah." He took a breath. "I trained in judo for years, but he let me skate too as it built up balance, muscle, and reflex. My mom told me I was good enough to skate professionally. But I couldn't do that and judo. Isis was about to make her senior debut around that time, so we came up here for physical training – jogging. It took us much less than two hours."

"Shut up," Ryou mumbled. "I'm wearing this fucking thing." He tugged at the sports bras.

"Yeah, I know. You shouldn't be." Kek shot him a look. Ryou refused to meet his gaze. "When we were here, Isis told me I was going to need to choose which I wanted to go professional with. And I told her I couldn't. I didn't want to make my father angry, but I didn't want to stop skating." He smiled slightly. "And she told me that I had already decided if I was thinking like that, because I wasn't doing martial arts because I wanted to." He looked at Ryou. "This is going to be hard for you. You're going to need to decide if you love skating enough to keep going."

Ryou hesitated. "I... I do."

"Do you?" Kek raised an eyebrow. Ryou opened his mouth. "I'm not doing this to pick on you. I'm doing it to make sure you won't get unnecessarily hurt," Kek cut in. "You're going to get hurt no matter what. But if you don't love it enough and you quit now, you won't be hurt as badly."

Ryou looked away. For a few minutes, he sat in silence. Kek didn't press him to answer any sooner than when he was ready.

When he looked up at Kek, his eyes were a little brighter than before. "I think I know what to add to my routine."

Kek grinned and stood. "Come on. We can talk about it on the way down."

Ryou nodded and hopped up, a new energy flooding through his veins as he followed Kek down the stairs.

* * *

Marik leaned against the barrier, barely perched in his seat. "I can't believe you dragged me here," he muttered.

Isis shot him a glare. "Egypt has no nationals in figure skating, so you would do well to observe and learn," she snipped.

Marik hummed, toying with one of his earrings. "Still. They're all amateurs, aren't they?"

"Fuck you."

Marik turned to see a cascade of white hair spilling out of a black hoodie beside him. "Fuck me? Fuck you."

"I would rather not." Rusted red eyes glared at him. "Not all of us are amateurs."

Marik frowned for a moment and then relaxed in his seat. "Oh. Okay, good."

"Good what?"

"Bakura Touzoku, winner of the silver medal at the GPF last year." He smirked. "For a moment, I was worried that you were someone important."

Bakura scoffed and crossed his arms. "Oh, fuck you."

"What makes you think you'd be doing the fucking?"

"Marik!" Isis scolded as Bakura pursed his lips to avoid laughing.

"Sorry." Marik glanced down at the ice as Yugi skated out.

" _Skater Mutou Yugi will be performing_ A Whole New World _from Disney's_ Aladdin. _He says that he hopes viewers will empathise with his experiences."_

Oh great. Another one of these.

 _"He has two quads planned in this routine."_

Marik watched with one uninterested eyebrow quirked as Yugi twisted into the start of his routine with the music.

 _"Here comes his first quad."_

"And... fall," he predicted.

Sure enough, Yugi stumbled. He caught himself with one hand, but Marik could see the judges scribbling down whatever deduction they were taking.

"He usually skates better than this," Bakura mumbled, frowning.

Marik shook his head. "He hasn't been skating well since I met him," he muttered. "And he never made it to the GPF, so he can't be that good."

"He is." Bakura sat up a little. "Or at least, he's better than this."

 _"Coming up to his combination jump..."_

Yugi pushed up into a triple toe loop, followed by a double, but the second one ended up only being a single.

 _"That's going to cost him. Skater Mutou isn't preforming as well as usual. Is there a possibility of a physical ailment?"_

"I hate these damn commentators," Bakura huffed. "They never help the skater."

"They're not meant to. They're meant to entertain audiences," Isis sighed.

"So?" Bakura scowled at her.

Isis looked over at him. "I'm not defending them. I'm just saying that you're attacking them for not fulfilling a purpose that they don't have to fulfil."

"Whatever." Bakura looked back at the ice. Yugi's step sequence was off-beat.

 _"His second quad."_

"He's not going to make it," Marik yawned.

Bakura hummed. Yugi pushed off into the jump, and though he two-footed it, he landed. "He's not going to get good points."

"His base score isn't even all that high," Marik muttered. "No wonder he never made it to the GPF."

"No, he would have." Bakura shook his head. "He did quite well in the American cup. Something just went wrong for him."

"Whatever it is, it hasn't stopped." Marik looked up at the scoreboard as Yugi skated off the ice. Bakura was in third place currently. "What did you even skate to?" He knew, he just wanted to be an asshole.

" _Cease_ by _Bad Religion_. Same as the GPF." Bakura looked over at him. "What about you?"

Marik scowled. "I'm from Egypt dumbass."

"I meant for the GPF. I never watch the juniors."

Marik's face burned. "You only made your senior debut last year, so shut up." He looked up at the scoreboard again. " _I'm Not Okay_ by _MCR_."

"That's so fucking emo," Bakura scoffed. "How did you even skate to it? It's longer than two fifty."

"Obviously I shortened it." Marik glared at him. "And it fit the theme."

"What theme? Emo boy wants to be edgy?" Bakura smirked.

"Like you can talk. I beat you in the juniors, and you skated to _MCR_ too." Marik looked up at the scoreboard again.

Bakura opened his mouth to argue. When nothing came out, he followed Marik's gaze.

 _"The scores are out! Forty eight point four, the lowest score of the season for Skater Mutou. He's currently in seventh place."_

Marik could see him hiding his face in his hands as Ryou stepped out onto the ice.

 _"Skater Ryou Bakura is out next. We haven't seen much of his skating since the Grand Prix where he ended in last place, but he has been hitting the media a lot after coming out as a transgender male. He will be skating to_ Nightvision _by_ Daft Punk. _"_

"Oh yeah, he definitely did that of his own accord," Bakura mumbled, leaning his cheek on his hand.

"Just like Mehi did when she came out," Marik snorted. "Is there actually any skater who came out of their own accord rather than being outed by some prick?"

"Kaiba Seto." Bakura pointed down to the brunet skater, standing by the rink. "But it's pretty hard to out someone as agender. Like, Ryou was outed because someone saw him wearing a binder. Seto just didn't tell anyone they didn't trust what their pronouns were until they called that press conference three years ago."

Marik nodded. "Okay. One. Anyone else?" Bakura hesitated. "Right. One out of everyone."

"There's probably a few more."

"Maybe." Marik winced as Ryou fumbled a jump, but caught himself. "Idiot."

"He's doing better than at the GPF."

"Well that wouldn't be very hard," Marik hummed. His sister shot him a look but went back to her conversation with a blonde skater beside her.

As Ryou slid into his finishing pose, the audience cheered. Not polite claps like they had for Yugi.

"He changed it since the GPF," Bakura noted.

Marik nodded. "He came back from stamina training two days ago with a few ideas. He scraped down the amount of moves and went for higher points, but he stuck with what he could manage rather than aiming high for dramatics."

Bakura nodded. "Still. Three quads in the second half?"

"It's a short song," Marik reminded him. "But yeah. He doesn't look it, but he's got a really good stamina."

Bakura grinned. "That almost sounded like a compliment."

"Hardly," Marik scoffed. Ryou's base score was ninety point two six. He had three jumps plus his combination, and he stepped out in one of them. Eleven.

He had it calculated as the score popped up on the board. _"One hundred and one point two six,"_ the commentator called. _"Skater Bakura is currently in third place."_

"Seto will get higher," Bakura murmured. "So will Yuya. But aside from them, I don't think anyone else will beat him until tomorrow."

"Maybe," Marik agreed. Ryou had already left the kiss-and-cry, though Mehi was still talking to journalists. He stood up. "I'd better go sort this out."

"What out?" Bakura watched him.

"I'll tell you when I'm done."

"Don't forget to clean up after yourself." Bakura snickered as Marik flipped him off.

* * *

"Yugi?" Ryou called, ducking into the changing rooms. Yugi sat on the bench, somewhere in the process of untying his skates. Ryou sighed and moved to sit next to him. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine." Yugi glared at his laces. "Why wouldn't I be?"

"Yugi, I know it was a disappointing score, but-"

"But nothing. It was the worst score I've ever gotten on any routine." Yugi tugged at his laces.

"Everyone has a bad day." Ryou shook his head. "You can't always perform to the best of your ability."

"My _ability_ doesn't seem to be good enough." Yugi kicked off one skate. It landed a foot or two away from them. "I didn't make it to the Grand Prix last year. Or the year before. Or even when I was skating in the junior section. I've never won at nationals. The best I can ever seem to place is in the top three."

"So?" Ryou shook his head. "That doesn't mean you _can't_ place higher."

"So you're just saying I need to work harder."

"No, I'm-"

"'Cause that's what it sounds like." Yugi tugged at his laces. "God damn it, open!"

"Here, let me help." Ryou reached down but Yugi shifted away.

"I'm fine. I'll get it."

Ryou withheld a sigh. "Alright."

Yugi tugged the knot loose and finished unlacing the boots. "Told you. I'm not completely helpless," he muttered.

"I never said you were." Ryou shook his head. "And I don't think you are."

"Yeah. Sure." Yugi snorted and kicked off his skates.

"It's true."

"Whatever." Yugi began to unzip his costume. Ryou looked away to give him a bit of privacy. "It's not like you care anyway, now that Mehi's here."

"Kek today."

Yugi sighed. "Fine. Kek." He tugged down the zip of the upper part of his costume. "And you're just proving my point."

"What point?" Ryou stood to help him but Yugi moved away.

"You care more about Kek than you do me." Yugi glared at him.

Ryou sighed. "Yugi, that's not true."

"Yes, it is!" Yugi shook his head. "Don't patronise me; don't pretend that you don't know what I'm talking about!"

"But I _don't_ ," Ryou insisted. "Nothing's changed, Yugi. You're still my best friend."

"Yeah, well it doesn't seem that way." Yugi folded his arms. "Not since Kek came here."

Ryou let out a breath. "Kek is my coach-"

"You want him to be more than that."

"I-"

"Don't lie to me!" Yugi snapped. "We've been friends since middle school – you think I don't remember you gushing over him?"

"I wasn't going to deny it." Yugi could see Ryou's restraint unravelling a little. "I _did_ have a crush on him. Now, I look up to him. He's my coach. And yes, I'm a little bit excited because _the_ Kek Kosey is in Japan and coaching me, but that doesn't mean that you're not one of my best friends."

"Yeah, well it doesn't feel like it." Yugi tugged off the top of his costume. He wouldn't be wearing it again.

Ryou looked away out of decency. "What do you want me to do, Yugi?"

"I want you to just pay a bit of attention to me and Anzu." Yugi pulled on a Dark Magician t-shirt. "Is that too much to ask?"

"I was training, Yugi. We all were."

"So?" Yugi shook his head. "That doesn't mean everything should revolve around Kek. Even in the evenings, he's all you talk about."

"That's not fair."

"Yes! Yes, it is!" Yugi shook his head. "Sometimes I just-"

"Yugi." Ryou looked up at him. Yugi took a breath. "I get the feeling you're about to say something really shitty. Don't."

"Well you only told us you were a boy after he came out as gender fluid!" Yugi exclaimed. "Is it wrong to sometimes think the only reason you're transitioning is because of him?"

Ryou pursed his lips. His face was as white as his hair. He stood up and stormed towards the door. "Fine. Be like that."

Yugi opened his mouth but closed it again as Ryou walked out and a loud shut echoed through the room.

* * *

 _"And skater Bakura Ryou is in first place with two hundred and seventy eight point nine points! Certainly didn't see that coming after his flop at the GPF this season! It'll take a lot of points to beat him now. Next up is skater Mutou Yugi. He will be skating to_ Almost There _from Disney's_ The Princess and the Frog."

"He's going to do badly," Marik mumbled as Yugi pushed his way out to the centre of the ice.

"How can you tell?" Bakura asked.

"Posture. His shoulders are practically connected to his ears," Marik scoffed, though he was leaning forward on the barrier. "Plus he nearly tripped when he got onto the ice."

"Odd." Bakura frowned. "When Ryou does well, he tends to too, and vice versa."

"Well he doesn't have Kek as a coach," Marik reminded him as the music started. Yugi stepped out of position a second too late.

Bakura hummed, cringing at the simple mistake. "Still. I saw him practicing this yesterday and he was pretty good at it."

"Yeah." Marik folded his arms. "I think something happened between him and Ryou."

"Like... relationship wise or fight wise?"

"I swear to God, they're the most oblivious people," Marik groaned, "I have ever met. If I was waving around a banner saying kiss me, they wouldn't because they'd think the message was unclear."

Bakura smirked. "Fight then."

"Definitely."

 _"Here comes his first jump-"_ Yugi hit the ice hard and Marik stood up. _"-and he fell hard; that'll be a bad deduction."_ Yugi pushed himself up and Marik sat again.

"You like him."

Marik snorted. "Nah. I prefer him to Ryou, but I don't like him. Not in that way anyway."

"I think the gent protests too much." Bakura smirked.

"Oh, fuck you."

"No thanks; I can see you're saving yourself for Yugi." Marik opened his mouth to retort, but closed it again, knowing that whatever he said would only be shot back at him. Bakura smirked. "I thought as much."

"I hate you."

"Mhm. Sure you do, love." Bakura leaned forward to watch Yugi as the other fumbled and tripped over his step sequence. "This routine doesn't have a high base score – he was solely relying on points for artistic interpretation to get him through on top of good jumps."

"Yeah." Marik let out a breath. "He's going to hate himself for this performance."

"I get that everyone has bad days, but-" Bakura shook his head. "I don't think I've ever seen him skate this badly."

Marik nodded as Yugi nearly crashed into the side of the rink. He managed to land his double toe-loop, followed by a single, but he stepped out of his combination spin and finished his routine a second late.

"Damn." Bakura shook his head. "That was terrible."

"Aren't you happy though?" Marik looked over at him. "Your third place is guaranteed."

"Maybe," Bakura agreed, "but that doesn't mean I like watching other skaters fail that badly. Or at least not ones that I've been competing with for as long as I have with Yugi."

"I guess that's fair." Marik looked over to the kiss-and-cry, where Yugi looked like he was in literal tears.

 _"Skater Yugi Mutou's score is out! Sixty two point one! Not as bad as his short programme, but certainly not the best we've seen from him. Perhaps he's been injured recently, although there was no press release about it."_

Marik winced. "Imagine being so bad the commentators are wondering if you were physically injured."

Bakura nodded.

 _"Skater Yugi Mutou is currently in twelfth place. In first place stands Ryou Bakura, followed by Seto Kaiba in second place. In third resides Bakura Touzoku."_

"Go down to the podium." Marik nudged him. "You need photos."

"Whatever." Bakura stood. "No fucking Yugi while I'm gone."

"Oh, _shut up_."

* * *

"Did you find him?" Anzu asked as Ryou ran up to the barrier.

The other shook his head. "No, I'm really sorry, Anzu. He must have left."

Anzu chewed her nail. "But he always comes to watch. He's my good luck charm."

"I could call him?" Ryou offered. "He might come back."

"Anzu." Her coach murmured, "you don't have time to wait for him. You're going to need to go on without him."

Anzu shook her head. "No. No, Yugi's my good luck charm," she repeated. "He hasn't missed one of my performances. I need him here!"

"Anzu." Ryou gripped her shoulders. "You've put so much work into this. You need to do it; you owe it to yourself. You don't need a good luck charm."

"But-"

"Trust me; just get out there and do it," Ryou urged. "I'm sure Yugi's watching on TV right now. He won't want to see you worried."

Anzu scoffed. "If he leaves, he gets to see me worried," she mumbled.

Ryou smiled. There we go. "Go and win."

Anzu took a breath and nodded. She stepped out onto the ice and a cheer rang through the stadium – she was most certainly one of the home favourites.

 _"Here comes skater Anzu Mazaki! Aged nineteen, she is relatively new to the skating world but she has quickly become one of Japan's sweethearts. She will be skating to Hector Berlioz's_ Sylvia _in E minor."_

Ryou clasped his hands together and leaned on the barrier as Anzu started. Step sequence, spin, step, triple toe-loop executed perfectly.

"She's doing well," he murmured.

Her coach nodded. "She's been training for this all year," she mumbled. "I know that Yugi is important to her and her routine, but there's no way in hell that I'm about to let him fuck this up for her."

Ryou nodded, watching as Anzu kicked into a quadruple Lutz. His fists were clenching. Yugi wasn't normally that inconsiderate. Then again, he had come in twelfth. That was pretty terrible.

Still.

Anzu twisted into one of her two combination spins and kicked off into a quadruple axel. Her years of ballet training even before she set foot on the ice had given her fantastic flexibility and stamina.

It was something she had over nearly everyone else in the competition. She had been training for this – all of this – since she was three.

Ryou held his breath as she jumped her finally quad – a triple toe loop followed by a quadruple toe loop. Perfectly landed, and arms in the air to increase the difficulty, which would earn her more points.

Ryou hummed along to her music – a habit he had picked up when he was watching her practice. She would be great. She would have high points. She would.

"Good," her coach mumbled. "Very good."

But not amazing. Not like some of her practices. Anzu danced into her final step sequence, shortly followed by a single axel, followed again by a choreographed step sequence.

She finished, half lying on the ice, leaned forward over one knee. Her pastel pink costume glistened under the lights as the music stopped.

 _"Skater Mazaki has done it again,"_ the commentator roared as the crowd began cheering. _"I think we can count this as another win for her."_

Anzu was grinning as she stood, waving to the crowd. She picked up some of the roses that were thrown down – all pink and white – and skated over to the edge.

"How was I?" She asked, breathless. Ryou didn't blame her. It was a tough routine.

Her coach smiled. "You started off well, and with every second you got better. I'm proud of you."

Anzu covered her mouth and squealed. "Thank you!"

Ryou grinned and wrapped his arms around her. "You did amazingly."

"I hope it comes out in the scores." Anzu bit her lip as she returned the hug.

Her coach shook her head. "We'll worry about that when we get them. Come on, let's head over."

Anzu nodded and gave Ryou one final hug. "You didn't need Yugi as a good luck charm after all," Ryou noted.

Anzu sighed. "No, but it still would have been nice if he was here."

* * *

 _"And with a score of ninety one point eight five, Skater Anzu Mazaki wins second place in the women's Japanese National Ice Skating!"_

Yugi let out a breath. He hadn't brought her down. Good. She didn't deserve to do badly because he was selfish.

He stared at Anzu's face, grinning as she waved from second place on the podium. Above her wearing gold was a skater with dark brown skin – not a native to Japan, but definitely a citizen – called Kala, and below her in bronze was Nosaka Miho.

Yugi stood and made his way towards the bathroom. He picked up the razor without even looking in the mirror.

"I fucked up," he mumbled. "I fucked up, I fucked up."

He should have been there. He should have been there. Fuck, what was he even doing? He didn't deserve this. Or them. He didn't deserve anything.

He pulled up his shirt and dragged the blade over his skin. The pain brought a moment of relief and clarity, and he dropped the blade, but the moment was gone as soon as it had arrived.

He picked up the blade again with shaky fingers and cut into his side again.

Ryou. Fuck, what had he said? "I fucked up." Anzu. Why wasn't he there? "I fucked up." Ryou. "I fucked up." Anzu. "I fucked up." Ryou. "I fucked up." Anzu. "I fucked up."

He couldn't breathe. He tried the blade again, harder this time, and oxygen flew into his lungs.

He panted, looking up into the mirror. "Shit," he hissed, dropping the razor. He grabbed some gauze from the cabinet and cut off a few squares, layering them over the deep, jagged ridges in his sides.

He taped the gauze over the cut and began washing the blade. Just as he replaced it, he heard the front door open.

"Yugi?"

He flushed the toilet and walked out, his biggest smile on his face. "Anzu!" He threw his arms around the older girl. "I'm so proud of you!"

"Thanks!" Anzu returned the hug tightly. "Did you watch?"

Yugi nodded as they separated. "Yeah, on the-"

"Why weren't you there?" Ryou cut in. His eyes were narrow, and with his hair pulled into a ponytail, Yugi almost mistook him for Bakura Touzoku.

He looked away. "Sorry. I freaked out over my placing." He looked up at Ryou. "And I'm... Gods, I'm so, so, so, _so_ sorry for what I said to you, Ryou." Anzu looked between them. "It was completely uncalled for and awful and not at all true, and I get if you never want to talk to me ever again, but I-"

Ryou pulled him into a hug. Yugi fell silent as he returned it. "Don't worry about it," Ryou mumbled. "Just glad nothing happened to you."

His side stung. "Yeah. Thanks."

Ryou gave him a smile as he pulled back. "Who wants dinner?"

"Nope." Yugi shook his head. "You two are being celebrated tonight – Marik and I are treating you."

"Does Marik know that?" Ryou raised an eyebrow.

Yugi grinned. "I'll sort it out. Go get changed – I'll make reservations somewhere."

"Make sure it's veg-"

"I'll make sure there's vegetarian options," Yugi assured him. "Now go." He pointed towards their bedrooms. He needed to get more gauze on.

Ryou chuckled and shook his head, but made his way towards his room.

Anzu waited. "Are you sure everything's alright, Yu'?" She murmured.

Yugi looked up at her. "Of course. Why?"

"Nothing. You just..." Anzu sighed. "It was a hard day for you today."

"Harder for you," Yugi pointed out. "You had to get to second place."

Anzu folded her arms. "I had a good day. You didn't. Sometimes it's harder to get twelfth than first or second." Yugi looked away. "I'm not trying to make you feel bad. I just-"

"I know; you're worried." Yugi forced a smile and looked up again. "But don't worry. I'm fine. Pinky promise." He held up his little finger.

Anzu grinned and wrapped her own finger around his. "Good. I'm proud of you, Yugi." She walked towards her room.

Yugi watched her go. She shouldn't be.

* * *

 **Hope you guys enjoyed. Please vote and review. See you next time, Murdering Majestors!**


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